05 August 2011

when shaky strangers tell me things





the stupid mustache was a test


but   was it for me
                or for them

reaction was preferred
the honest or the polite
   the careful tweeners
who took a long time
                               to stare
trying to figure out
how much they thought   i’d care
if they told   the truth

whatever that is

preksha laughed
 in that way
the one that says
  what are you doing
 then she said ‘what are you doing’
in the parking lot at bill’s new place
    still spent most of her time
staring
     at me
then i almost said the right thing

george said it was nice to meet me
even though i’ve been twice to his home
and heard his laugh
             big and fat
over the whole of his backyard
    
norman only saw a picture
until late on wednesday evening
before the day he was leaving
which was two days before i was leaving
and neither of us had packed a thing
at least most of my clothes
 were clean

when we met at the place we always met
and the meal was quick
we were done with it
but smiles
    were wide
and even if i couldn’t feel them
all the way inside
the girls still said ‘hi’
like they want you to
    stay
or to come back
 again
some other day

    the ponytail let loose a laugh
the ponytail always laughs
at me
      it seems
but that’s a large part
of himandme

     what i’m looking for
better best to
be ignored

jjb gave two thumbs up
for keeping it til chicago
            even though he couldn’t wouldn’t or shouldn’t  go
    his support was known
which was about as much as could be expected
 since some things changed

waters said it was cowboy-ish
            i said
you’re  cowboy-ish
                   she neglected to reply
but i sensed no conflict

jarral took it all in stride
she did that
 most of the time
  and if cool is a lion
that girl is a pride
we need to get her back
stateside
                        aight
        aight

her friend rj had the curly hair
but she pulled me straight
 by the ear
on hiphop night
in the old neighborhood
where the sweet keeley was last seen
at broken midnight
when the big man
sulked enough
to get it stolen
with housecat hiss
of touch and wah
          a liar’s bliss
he wallowed
in
        it

and this says nothing of
        maccallister
who waited til she knew
then let both barrels go

my dream is still that she’ll whisper
‘close the door
    and tell me secrets
that aren’t true
           anymore’

still   curious looks were
preferable to invisibility
which    if actual
would have been useful
but
in reality
only served to underscore
          the very fear i can’t ignore

that there’s no such thing as the hooker oak tree
         and happiness is just a dream
when shaky strangers tell me things





Drawing by Woody Guthrie

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