31 March 2011

the last crane on miller beach

dark red
pale white
there is no telling where she’ll end up tonight

she can fly
but not far
have you seen the hole
in her arm?
 you felt it
                                     you complained
that when we left
everything changed

                        stripes like the days go by
                        speak up now honey
                                    don’t be   shy
                        what is coming from your mouth
ain’t the only thing that makes the doubt

all day   you felt lost
but you’ve no idea
it will cost
all the calls     all the words
when the bill comes due
that’s when everything hurts

you felt
so  i explained
that when we left
everything           stayed the same

now the stripe is the day gone by
come on now    haley
you’re so  shy
all the things you       wouldn’t say
will come back
at   night
have their way

the last crane
on miller beach
she’s right there                                                            within reach
just in time       and                                                                                      just in tune
for a monday       afternoon

30 March 2011

i'm lying when i say

in the fleeting moment i remembered    firstly

to the car      nervously tearing   
                        secondly to the handing

to you

you noticed                         the cover
thank   you

i hope you hear    the songs

i hope you hear        me say

that i wish i       that
if you are  i
                 i will



    give you confidence
                        make you see sleep


             no pretending                        no long endings             no drawing out      and no doubt

take me dancing take me dancing take me dancing

most very sincerely truly yours

        intellect comma proofof

29 March 2011

i will

look at you                                                                                                           self-righteous

this has nothing to do
with god
you just think that you know something
that the rest of them do not
 and for all your education
they could never teach you this
do not speak of precision
you don’t know what it is

we tell big lies
well into the night
we take out the 45’s                                                          we let ‘em spin and come alive
then the talk turns to what has changed our minds
and to people who are kind
but will be left behind

and they still think that it’s fine

you thought we came here
but what does that even mean
i’ll still see you on friday                                                  and then sometime
in the spring

if time tells you the answer and it doesn’t take that long
then you may find your decisions
are taller                                                                                than you want
your decisions
are taller

then the talk turns
to what must be overcome
but there is just nowhere to run                             there is nothing
to be done
still                                                                                                               i wonder
what i                              will have to do
to make it up to you                                         and still feel like it’s through
the big lies?
they’re just fading out of sight
go put back your 45’s
set and say goodbye

still hope

that everything’s fine

i will

28 March 2011

the bubble

it seems so much a formality
the simple giving of thanks
heads bow with fear
like pirates 
walking planks
laughter just as hollow  as has ever been known

curses are mumbled --------> the innocents are stoned
i’m fat with ghosts and three days grown
full of friends       but all                   alone
tired of hypocrisy
                         consummately vain

               but     stained

traveling in season
the wrong one again
simple  stupid questions
from simple        stupid men    
                                       i’m sick with sleep -------->too much to eat

                                               i hear a voice      i wish             it was sweet

in shallow conversation -----------> i’m not looking for the truth

i hardly ever even think about you

i take the trip in smaller steps
it’s no surprise
i am not there yet

                                    for the moment it seems
                                          and from either extreme

                     talking tall    and

*art by Hillary Waters Fayle

27 March 2011

get liz mitchell to sing my eulogy

anyone can be somebody else

it's a tried and true threat to your health
             a tried and true
of your breath

i don't think i'd know her if he weren't around
not unless she was making one of those sounds
but does a voice like hers really live in this place?

this place
with the people and the heat
the harm and the hate
the struggle of the street
every moment a test
and every test
a chore

i took the spoon
the one that she used
and i sat back down
but amused
she walked away with the bald man

his hands were so full
and his tongue twisted
with the kind of extra language
i have always insisted
is meaningful
but troublesome

i wonder sometimes
if i was wrong                                  i must have stared
she must have seen
not to recognize her
i don't disagree
but the voice wasn't right
so i don't think it was her

i was so close to drowning and it didn't make sense
to be left with this need to persuade and convince

if regret is the answer
how long will that take?

if there is sin in redemption
pleasure in blame
if you're feigning concern but feeling no pain
remorse is your answer?
that doesn't mean a thing

and to think that mistakes can bring promise as well
like i promise to love you
and i'll never tell
i have lost my momentum
from one day in the sun

still wondering
if i was wrong
neither among them
will look in my eye
one is hung up
the other hung out to dry
and they both deserve to come undone

26 March 2011

august 41, '25

                           so much can happen in the course of a lie
         the time that it takes to finally decide    that the time you had wasted         
                           wasn’t          really                     time
                                     that the feelings   you tasted    were
                  parsley    sage   rosemary        rhyme

more is coming
              best you can do
is stand in                   take swings     be human    be    true

i can get my feelings hurt from one hundred yards
             just the color of a car
in the shadow of that scar

i’m pretending
        since 1979
since boots and breaking lines
                           since running out of time

when i feel the peak this early in the week
              i ought to be looking
i ought to know the trough is coming

why don't i ever see it coming?

              having trouble getting my breath      back from the room      
                                           once we've talked it to death

gurjoat said the people here like to talk
the people here like to talk

i take those words and i throw 'em at you
to compensate for ordinarybluesandbadnews
                   greatnight      too

        watched them fly  watched them fall
   counted seconds  didn't hurt         at all

and it makes no difference which way you smile
         so to be noted     been that way for a while
 you bought my opinions    you handed them in
they were different  from then         different from when?

are you still alive?  can you still breathe?
                    do you feel the things that you want to feel?
is happiness forced or        simply conceived?
do you have enough left to be taking   swings?

                                 i wonder where the avarice lives
why it follows me        what's left to give

she took every piece that i wanted      or missed
she stood stooped   bent   swept those things off a cliff

last night

   frank folger      
                  to his home  
                                    slowly tread

         found the sutures in their stead
       put a        bullet to his head
         he found the future there


25 March 2011

come true

i’ll accept the invitation
                  i just don’t know what it means
forget all of the stories
                  that i had for you   last week
          i will stay     and listen closely
when your breath starts   getting deep
you see   i made    myself a promise
                                                 one that i intend     to keep

if you put your arms
                  all the way around me
                      then you can tell me “it’s alright”

                           you said “homicide,
                                                it does make you smarter,
                                                i’m making dinner, come by                                                          tonight.”

i hear the breath          that rushes out of        
         your mouth when       you say   “hi”
        see the smile there is no doubt of
and never    say “good-bye”

i’ll say “good luck”
“see you later”
and you say
“call me, if you’re awake”
i say
“i’ll see you in the morning,
           i don’t    
no i don’t believe in fate”

                           i make the left onto fairfield
                           and then take orchard   back toward main
                           and i will keep
                           both of my eyes   peeled   to see
                           you walking
                                                      in the rain

still, i’ve never    been as lonely
as i was      sitting           next to you
wishing you        were my one and only   
wishing you would                 
you would make    it
come true