there it is someplace in between
what i want and what is expected of me
now why do i wait so diligently?
for a crumb from a table try to make it a meal
so time and time and time again
i want to leave those tears my friend
and i want to feel it not pretend
making pressboard feelings out of sawdust sins
i think soon has a different meaning out east of the road
that runs through the state of the known and unknown
that eat up ideas like straight jellyroll
and here we are outside the boys in the boat
taking everything too seriously
without one single reason to fly or be free
and give pause to wonder if i’m just talking to me
here it comes there it goes
onetwothree onetwothree
from here to there and back again
i used to revel in the ones i call friend
used to be enough, but now it depends
and it hurts so much more than i want to admit
billy was right and he couldn’t have known
to him it was him but to me __________________
so, i just put the dictionary back in the hole
because it matters so little when i lose the control
and the time that has passed is such a little amount
i’m ashamed to admit that i even keep count
and won’t feel the same until i turn on the sound
that is distracting so many but it’s sticking around
i am american distinguishing embarrassed from shame
and i cling to the thought like i cling to your name
and i wish there was more to the whole of the thing
like wishes could ever be changes again 
there is
me
diligently
crumb
to make
a meal
my friend
pressboard feelings
the state of the known and the unknown
the boys in the boat
taking everything too seriously
free
talking
onetwothree
admit
billy
so
little
ashamedsoundname
the whole
of the thing
changes
to him it was him but to me there
to him it was him but to me is
to him it was him but to me me
to him it was him but to me diligently
to him it was him but to me crumb
to him it was him but to me to make
to him it was him but to me a meal
to him it was him but to me my friend
to him it was him but to me pressboard feelings
to him it was him but to me the state of the known and the unknown
to him it was him but to me the boys in the boat
to him it was him but to me taking everything too seriously
to him it was him but to me free
to him it was him but to me onetwothree
to him it was him but to me admit
to him it was him but to me billy
to him it was him but to me little
to him it was him but to me ashamed
to him it was him but to me sound
to him it was him but to me there
to him it was him but to me name
to him it was him but to me the whole of the thing
to him it was him but to me changes
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