09 July 2011

air thick air wet
this is maryland


the currency is   attention
              and your name is madeleine
this means        for me  
      only one thing
that hours won’t end
    that melody  lingers
hotter than the summer blood in my fingers

as the day passes
you steal flowers from
gardens that don’t matter   
 or belong 
            to either of us
                            
and your straw hat is covered with them
 by the time     the sun starts      to set 
air thick  
                              air wet

                  this is maryland

we took smiling picture turns
                                 with the hat
                  and
i started to wonder if it’s as simple
                  as that

if the day that was promised just
 dawned
without wrong
       without    warning
but somehow ripe and
         full of complaining
but      then

    with significant effort  you moved toward the ground
i asked  simply   if you needed
 my help
you smiled
                  you sneered
no help needed here

grace had no place but
effectiveness was all the rage
         and soon enough
we were on the same page

your look     was deafening
      i couldn’t hear anything
but the sight that was listening
 insisted on kissing

and before it’s too late
          with that fat orange sun hanging
just over the way
      your lips kissed like they knew everything
like they were the first to come
            the last to leave

air stuck
      hair wet
stiff
            from sweat
and things we hadn’t said yet

the people passing
 sounded like they were laughing
but who could say   or care
          or want to know when it felt that way
 the summer day
 the history
the only  first time you looked at me

        your straw hat bare
waiting for flowers
 braces smiling
braces    and hours

to kill   to maim  to make go away
         i walked slow
i got in your way

   you shuffled   you jerked   
   past your arrogant sister
your family couldn't fathom
          the missed hidden in mister

and    no one looked close enough
        to know what was happening
               sooner than later they just let us be

               and oh   did we be
by the hill     in the dusk
the day you and me turned into    us

when attention was currency
                   and you called yourself madeleine
    i loved before i knew the word ‘lesbian’





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