the currency is attention
and your name is madeleine
this means for me
only one thing
that hours won’t end
that melody lingers
hotter than the summer blood in my fingers
as the day passes
you steal flowers from
gardens that don’t matter
or belong
to either of us
to either of us
and your straw hat is covered with them
by the time the sun starts to set
air thick
air wet
this is maryland
we took smiling picture turns
with the hat
and
i started to wonder if it’s as simple
as that
if the day that was promised just
dawned
without wrong
without warning
but somehow ripe and
full of complaining
but then
with significant effort you moved toward the ground
i asked simply if you needed
my help
you smiled
you sneered
no help needed here
grace had no place but
effectiveness was all the rage
and soon enough
we were on the same page
your look was deafening
i couldn’t hear anything
but the sight that was listening
insisted on kissing
and before it’s too late
with that fat orange sun hanging
just over the way
your lips kissed like they knew everything
like they were the first to come
the last to leave
air stuck
hair wet
stiff
from sweat
and things we hadn’t said yet
the people passing
sounded like they were laughing
but who could say or care
or want to know when it felt that way
the summer day
the history
the only first time you looked at me
your straw hat bare
waiting for flowers
braces smiling
braces and hours
to kill to maim to make go away
i walked slow
i got in your way
you shuffled you jerked
past your arrogant sister
your family couldn't fathom
the missed hidden in mister
and no one looked close enough
to know what was happening
sooner than later they just let us be
and oh did we be
by the hill in the dusk
the day you and me turned into us
when attention was currency
and you called yourself madeleine
i loved before i knew the word ‘lesbian’
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