there is no sitting still

an injury that did not result in death

well

not the type of death that you mean

the shifting landscape of a sad song

of someone listening

a phone call

nighttime wishing

you are either moving toward

or away from the change

standing still standing in sand

you are still moving

it is still moving

the earth is still moving

there is no sitting still

there’s no nine-nine

no west of fields

no more seven chinese brothers

pure tenor quality

the voice of harold montgomery

no more pretending

that the words mean anything

or are well chosen

well guarded

well meaning

nobody is winning

nobody is winning

there is nosuchthing

which does not mean

there is no right or wrong

you can sing the song

it’s not a question of can or can’t

it’s do or don’t

didn’t you know

i am an impatient man

prefer cake to pie

truth to light

inside to insight

with actual tigers

and intricate daydream designs

in the last of the graylight

last of the wine

summer flower dresses

that let in the light

a  joy shared is twice a joy

a sorrow shared is half a sorrow

true today true tomorrow

mine’s day

minion’s day

until the day

in the mines eye of carmelita

the song of chicharita

rose of the desert

the deportees

the depression is not significant

watching the light die

 listening to dogs fight

just north   of the good side

                                 of those tracks

where the cops walk fast

                                                   when they pass

you can see the station from here

                     if that lightens your fear

       or straightens her hair

                    when the first snow comes

stir            son

don’t have enough to pay the rent

                but the depression is not         significant

           ask her man      she’ll tell you that

we’ll wait for it

         want to know you haven’t ignored it

     her eyes say something like   hypocrite

                                or    predator

              they don’t say editor

and they damn sure ain’t keeping score

you can count

      one to four

      add it up

if you must

             the birds are singing

so it’s time to go to sleep

take the crosses from your hands

            and lay them at my feet

everything that you borrowed

            every little bit i stole

if the fan makes wind

            then time’s been told

how to set fires with electric timers

how to set fires with electric timers

·      if a tree falls

·      eco terrorist movement

·      the fuck of it all

·      what can you do

·      what should you do

·      what will you do

·      we already lost

·      the bums lost

·      but i love the bums

·      the bums are the best

·      fuck all the rest

·      but

·      without the rest

·      who will run credit cards

·      and engineer hiking boots

·      who will love last

·      who will hide truth

·      which makes it so pretty

·      and rare to find

·      deep in the day

·      of dark the night

·      they count revolution

·      as too much for us

·      that we won’t get there

·      or go dust to dust

·      that comfort creed

·      creativity

·      is far too important

·      we’ll leave them with greed

·      and the power to makes us

·      all do the high step

·      from dawn to dawn

·      birth to death

·      and private rebellion

·      in apartments    in color

·      take out the fervent

·      need to discover

·      what really is best

·      for most things concerned

·      which lessons were missed

·      which ones got learned

·      the bell in my head

·      won’t stop going off

·      but decision fatigue

·      is slow now   and soft

·      and pretty girl’s smiles

·      are all i can dream of

·      even for a minute

·      a hurried look

·      and a hug

·      a worried look

·      and a shrug

·      to depart

·      no time to stop hearts

·      and no   it didn’t hurt

·      i trust you

·      the whole way

·      but that doesn’t mean

·      i can keep your schedule straight

·      you condescend

·      but waiting won’t matter

·      we’ll see in the end

·      watch small change ripple

·      like the sun over trees

·      learn the lessons of earth

·      in the lessons of need

·      take the time to decide

·      but then follow through

·      i would go it alone

·      were it not for you

hartcrane to heart

i wouldn’t say drowning 

but you know

my father said

i was tired 

he must have

known

                                                                                          still

it was

tired

not sad

or upset

tired

and

i

was

tired

and sad and upset

like water

is wet

like night

 is dark

like time

just starts

tearing

apart

tearing

the

part that’s

s t a r i n g

the start

hartcrane to heart

i can’t do anything with a box

requests are requirements

before retirement

they’re ready for you now

here it comes

second floor

what’s in the box

i can’t do anything with a box

what if i came to your house

to see what’s going on at home

          in the background

he didn’t say daddy loves you

             did he?

it’ll take a while

that’s for sure

i need to get all

the way to 118^th street by the night before

tuesday could do something

if i just got enough sleep

never said anything of

         the sort

dreams don’t talk

not in hotels

and if you’re flying

you’re dying

 somebody told me that

     no

i am not

         the one

i’ll wait in blue chairs

near curly hair

sugar bear

      nobody’s gonna care

they just stare

the door makes noises

so i know when you come in

late

everybody’s good at something

me?

i'm good at doing what i’m told

            and not looking old

i don't have the courage yet

unraveling

one by one you said

                                and

i think i know what you meant

i’m trying not to unravel and wishoping that if i do   it would at least be for atypical reasons but that’s only because i wishope that i am atypical

sometimes i am

sometimes
                 i’m not

cold fights hot  the day the driveway gets paved black and i sneak into the apartment like it’s some kind of attack leaving the peppers in the car  in a sack   
                             by the railroad tracks

the community that is growing is not what i wanted to plant nor is it what i want to harvest so i will leave it for other gardeners

and wonder how productive it is to take that hard look at the ones you’ve collected  start to draw comparisons    to make generalizations  

                          no matter how accurate

about them and yourself  


and i wonder why she felt the need to tell us she left it all on the shelf 

                                                it didn’t help

         you started to use the word  love

a few months back

it took me by surprise

felt unattached

but genuine

        and heartfelt

i keep it in my pocket

in case i need the help

                    i haven’t  yet

the transitions have us on moving trains

      yours northeast

mine in a circle around the easternmost point of the midwest

      well  
          a half circle  or 

a fingernail moon

from the east towns

to the deep blue

that's not quite dark enough

to make me sweat

       but is fast becoming

the part of myself

that is the first thing others notice

       upon introductions

i heard jack mack say the words

              ‘buffalo friends’

the first time recoiled

     but now understand

and wonder what it takes

to simply give in and

   find both feet planted

        in something you can defend
but   

i don't have the courage yet

a change in the landscape

i use

is what it says

and that’s something to believe

there are no kinds of lives that spend time

in between

tricks

even tools  of this

my little trade

for a measure of control

that deal is often made

i use

is what i said

i know it’s what you heard

if  i were pressed

i wouldn’t need another word

if i were finished

there would be no use for you

go

diminished

there is so much left to do

the rest of this

is useless

unless you happen to take note

that the words i want to say

are not the ones i wrote

the ones i have to say

just keep sticking

in my throat

like when you’re standing still

but always pulling at my coat

i’m counting every note

i use is what it says

that’s what wins the war

hurt the most   knees on floors

kill the host   slam the door

be the boast    ask for more

                          here’s a toast  you’re such a bore

i use

is what it read

something to believe

the tricks she’d been accused of

were also up my sleeve

mine said i think

oblique   opaque

subtle gesture ending

a

change in the landscape

when lonely got me thinking i'd do anything to be without it

same story on the delay

        some things just take time

i'm happy you'll doctor up

               you can hear the dynamics

things are worse off than i thought back with since

      working know how to relate to    life's rich pageant

the twenty four will be difficult for a sentimentalist such as myself

good grades relish the role as curve destroyer

i am not ready to leave buffalo  

                  but the off chance you and bryan

considering talk and the south

excellent viewpoint both

    thoughtful   and reflective

add experience

  understand addiction

              be invaluable

in what is certain

            an expanding galaxy 

  isn’t easy to do

killing in singapore loan debt

      and maybe more

to get out from under the things they unfurl

the decidedly unreligious make it easy

       to forget the fervor that those beliefs can stir

             in zealots 

in conversation about networking with a fellow

    felt good until he muttered

‘all that work is well and good but it'll get you nowhere

unless you're with the network i'm with 

                     G*O*D

is the only thing i'll ever need

                to get exactly what i want’

but what if what i want

                             is fleeting
and there are so many competing
                    all i really feel like doing    is eating

                be there in about twelve minutes

stunned to silence 

                    and suddenly hungry

but what actually happened was that tipping point you see in people when they ask you to explain something   then realize it is more complicated than they’d like it to be and you see the words approaching their metaphoric ‘fill’ line  the eyes glaze forward with laziness  sloth and what spits out is derision for understanding anything that can’t be abbreviated

if it's difficult

      you quit

that’s the long and the short of it   then    
                                      you get something to eat

maybe we did that too           we don't recall  the how long of it all

                           singer has been taken advantage of  or   
                     maybe   she just called her own shot

                                                        i just hope she survives it

as i survived the cult of domesticity

              upon my move across the country’s height 
                                                                           not its width

when lonely got me thinking i'd do anything to be without it

Brion Gysin