the whole reason to cross allen street is gone

back then

back when there was still a reason to cross allen street

                                            back before berlin

 when she was red bone

 from buffalo       

when she was h i g h yellow            

when it was  ‘if you’re not a staylow then you gotta go home

 and that means you too jared leto’

back then

        one night

                 one little night

i heard a man

        one man

                 a book man

the man from the book store

he was stammering  stomping like he was coming straight outtacompton

       

          spitting and bloodletting

relentless

the first word came first

it came right on the first stomp

it exploded

he said ‘participatory’

yeah  he said ‘participatory’

and then he said it again

and again

and again

until it rocked with an uneven white boy rhythm that took its cue

from when the stomp came down

and that alone

                                   he said it again               and again

‘participatory participatory participatory

participatory participatory participatory

democracy democracy democracy’

yeahyeahyeah

he said

‘participatory participatory

democracy democracy

participatory participatory

democracy democracy’

then some of us started saying it

        and then more of us started saying it

then it was back and forth

‘participatory’

                    ‘democracy’

        ‘participatory’

                                            ‘democracy’

                

the man  said

‘participatory’

listen to this poem

the depression is not significant

watching the light die

 listening to dogs fight

just north   of the good side

                                 of those tracks

where the cops walk fast

                                                   when they pass

you can see the station from here

                     if that lightens your fear

       or straightens her hair

                    when the first snow comes

stir            son

don’t have enough to pay the rent

                but the depression is not         significant

           ask her man      she’ll tell you that

we’ll wait for it

         want to know you haven’t ignored it

     her eyes say something like   hypocrite

                                or    predator

              they don’t say editor

and they damn sure ain’t keeping score

you can count

      one to four

      add it up

if you must

             the birds are singing

so it’s time to go to sleep

take the crosses from your hands

            and lay them at my feet

everything that you borrowed

            every little bit i stole

if the fan makes wind

            then time’s been told

i always meant to be reputable

ending the fascination with youth

with potential

              in truth

these kinds of things die slowly
       they always act like

                  they don't know me

in the open street

     in open air

near the big concrete

                when i stop to stare

at  the house kept neat

   complete complete

get enough to eat

          but expect to leave

      expect to be

     suspect

to be

        object

to be

          circumspect

at night time

and in the day light

with a smile       lies

    the    boot

        brown

                 eyes

time

     is

tight

      except that

it's not

it is anything

            but

right up to

and until

the clock tick 
                     tock

says time 
                       is

                  up

i always meant to be reputable

      but

will it stay fair

that question knows its answer

     it never

really

    was

and

curtains work wonders    

with whys

           and because

definition contrition volition vermouth

that is you?

  i didn’t know it but  that’s

      one of my favorite suits

how it hangs in the air and in water it moves

the perfect line    the ways of truth

so often these days    simply elude

            definition   contrition   volition  vermouth

circle lined eyes

         wait for some miles

to smile   and try   to simply unwind

a weeks worth of difference   surreal and supine

              a matter of meaning   moral and mine

do not interrupt the turn

     i made the mistake   but then i learned

that you have to tend the fire if you expect it to burn

         any wrong  winterlong  furious   firm

the problem with smoke  in the sky    northern

 eyes   four and then

 twenty four  two thousand ten

      i knew you then

you walked with acumen   and violence

sing song singed       bastian

enough distraction to re-understand

    that this alone  to any man

moves fast enough    replete     unplanned

          to  underscore the winning hand

monday    thirteen   desired 
                                                   destined

little doses of bad timing

the child was stillborn

      that was more than he could bear

tiny little fingers

 black matted curling hair

why doesn’t it breathe?

took a long time

      and he could not forget

how life was an advantage when

  the air was thick and wet

why did it take so long to see?

the most ordinary things make marks    in time   mistaken for a memory connecting broken lines   move the past to the beginning   forget the history    can you explain possession     can you turn and look at me 

the rest was made up

       like the book he wouldn’t write

talked through pages

   needed more light

what was the difference in ‘had to be’?

this is after

                                                                                            a simple    thinning   rain

                                                               made meager of example

now the memory was stained

little doses of bad timing

Woman in Street Clothes, Portrait of Ellen Andrée, 1879, pastel on paper  Edgar Degas

anything with a silent s

the world’s gonna end someday   like it did in '93

                                          i’m paraphrasing

it’ couldn’t be    me      man   

              justcouldn’t    be                          forget about jackson man

sixty isn’t enough  

                                             but anne

anne  ?

                                                                        double anne ?

flip side harmony  high

nashville strung down the upside

i thought it was about her   man

but she was just something i made

                                                  i make

got enough wood out here to build a forest

now you’re walking on it

forest

with a silent s

anything with a silent s

the good and the bad making things mix

breaking off money   dope and chicks

          the southern storm of dickeybetts hotlicks

beginner’s  scotch and luck

                                              wide eyed dark smiles                 f  u  c  k               

some people make                art

                  some people make sense 

                                  socrsese start

                film rolls  screen dark

light flickers  on the

light heart

                 

she is a bit of a hurricane

                                    and she always hates me

when did you know you were leaving 
 

                                             how can you tell  if you're breathing

           emotionally focused                   but leaking

         the bell rings  your time’s up     

secret safe

well     safe enough