i didn't love because it didn't love

we hardly even knew each other

and that was the glue

      stuck us together

kept us on the ground

while the peaches are in season

the trees just in reach

there’s little left to do

            but teach

i won’t let anyone hurt the pearl

the laudanum

      the mild form of the wild world

none of us

and none of this

      will make amends

let’s not be friends

   let’s not be trite

did you hear the truth song

                                the one by the giant

   ninety three

the more fool   i

it’s an estimate

            of what it’ll be

what you’ll see

in the land of cotton

where old times are

      all but forgotten

palm trees and sunshine

the basis of every story

from the gulf

      but smaller   seven

left to fend for himself

the aristocrat

            the girl

it’s easy to tell the stories

if you don’t let the truth

get in the way

make it a blue dress

make it so there’s

no need to confess

so there’s nothing to regret

      on the shore

in eighty four

      at seventeen

said i didn’t love

because it didn’t love

   in the art class

elaine floyd

   said

what

      said

   how

she was a hippie then

but she’s

      a hypocrite

now

you know it's time for you to go

 in the company of corpses

      three nights

   three times

         three

   and then

it’s up to me

they don’t say anything

they aren’t listening

   but

one shifted

and turned in the night

i woke

with a start

   asked ‘is everything allright?’

   before i chance remembered

before i gave to flight

   i tried

now   i no more read it

than lived it

      that’s just the facts

the fuse was dipped

then lit

   it glowed a good long time

      in low light

the higher the hang

the more dead   the ore

and that leads directly

   back to the corpse

have no doubt that the logic is sound

the sun comes up

just as surely as it goes down

now   if you’d come in the summertime

when there’s more accommodating ground

when the sight doesn’t much bother

    with the sound

and the hills hold fate

in the meaning of song

   they know how to sing

how to sing along

   alone

and undone

that’s english

where you feign death

the pressure works

from either end

to your middle

     muddled

big pressure

waits for words

understands what is heard

friendly chinese

two hours

or three

do not use

   this time

to explain

      use the time

to reclaim the remains

   introspection

is your name

that water was cold enough

and the bottle filled right on up

but   i bow out

hold back

   held down

         it is no worry of mine

on a black horse

   for hope

and through the kind of rain

that only wants to be

   snow

it weeps

  then it moans

you know it’s time

      for you to go

there’s no such thing as simple songs

i’ve watched no country

seven nights in a row

    not strictly an active watch

one and a half times with ponytail

      once without breathing

but never forgetting

         how you did the leaving

boyos have the heart scars

   after every beating

to prove that

          we can move it
   that there's blood on our shoes

               to match the blood on your boots

   

      you couldn’t just call it off

instead you decided

         the best route was to not talk

before the light went soft

   and you gave it up

with chamomile tea

   an infidelity

            on a monday

when he’d already called in to work

   so

that’s when he convinced you

  ‘we might as well make use of the church’

      on the run

on the coast

sailing winds

               the arrogant boast

here’s a toast

to the ones you leave behind the most

the ones who brought you to the air

      what future holdings do to fear

hot brown coffee has no care

just like you won’t hear

         the cow screaming

who

   and how it got there

makes you think ‘fuck the ones’

   who need to stare

who need to understand things

   or share

stay away from the kind of people

who like movies

      or music 

who get things done

so   yeah  

         that’s pretty much everyone

except the little boy

   lord fauntleroy

who took one last shot

with all his toys

headed east to wait

for daddy to die

      for the money to come

dressed you up like it’s 1981  

like declan patrick aloysious macmanus

   laid down his gun

   to spend his time

reciting schoolboy puns

ever clever down the rabbit hole

pouring concrete footings

   around your flagpole     

telling you all the truth

you choose to hold

   like

who you are

   and

why you’re here

  

      was fifteen the other f word

or was that father

      i used to burn certain suns to know that truth

but now i don’t even bother

might as well put a name on it

catholic

   convenient

      but everything
including ideals

         can be labeled as wrong

and

there’s no such thing as simple songs

hedgehog on a wheel

brown noise+

oscillating fan+

wind=

a long night made not so long

    laughter

by bobby hill

                 remembering who was wrong

      where they come from

what needs to be done

milton

pushing

coasting

just past the two story wendy's

just into kate's place

the smile

is on kate's face

intermittent

no charge

on the reset

you

take your first left

drive on out to west jeff

sloane waits there

black bear inn

turns to heaven    dirt road

up hill

both ways   and    just enough snow

should i stay

                           or

should i go
’later’   lied

in two replies

and neither really

will suffice

but the time that came

passed     me     by

and left me sinking

 into

christ

m a s

past

the call

never came

sleep never left

i dreamt i was pregnant

and drunk the whole time

what have i done to the baby is it mine?

‘the walls we build up stone by stone’

you are almost alone

but the good is gone

so    why are you three hanging on?

playing tired country songs

from kingdom come to kingdom kong

                  my girl

                                    the fat girl

                                                      drew me once     in a blue swirl

didn't use it

change     read    plan

are you tired boy?

are you re-ran?

gorgeous into

non

sequitur

place in cold earth

hear your             heart work

take a t shirt

make it hard

make it                 hurt

we need the freckles on the twenty third floor

once she’s gone

        she’s gone

no more asking for the straw

             the autopsy was brief and uninvolved  

all topics from the near wall

                     seemed a bit too tall

 to discuss    among those gathered close

         isolation breeds isolation

and only part of it is administration

         the talks are held up by greed and frustration

           and the gaps between differing ideas of what constitutes

                 repayment

the words find me

 i don’t look for them

       but i do know which ones to pick

   and which ones to leave lie   it takes little more than a lifetime to decide

       that yellow turned red    around eleven thirty   that night

she said she thought he died

       it made of fist of her insides

   now deprived of hope

and   home

     suddenly alone

the question comes

what’s the difference between comfortable and defensible

      my blood is thin

i spent most the month of july with a blanket ‘cross my knees

   while every other motherfucker was complaining about the heat

heat worth holding    

                                             trouble looks       interesting 

                   meant in both senses of the word 

                                    as if there are 

                                                      two

and two

                                                               alone

           let it ride   let it fly     i could use the shut-eye

                           i could use 
                                            the warmth

                 we need the freckles on the twenty third floor

The Company of Frans Banning Cocq and Willem van Ruytenburch  1642

by Rembrandt van Rijn