loose

rubbertubearmneedleshinemoonlight 

gold  in his mouth to remind all who see him he is a homeboy  sure down by law  over rainbow he says/sends him   unnoticed final  can't you breathe for me   you and me   brothers   politics-power rhetoric showered upon the poor and the poor at heart powder flowers laughter louder   forget reason   want start lightning is daylight truth on a dark night timothy wishes there was something to hold knowing it's monday he falls into sunday

     fight anger   fight cold   

can't you breathe for me don't it set your soul free you and meyou and meyou and me we're   brothers   back of the hotel   pain joy  found   feels like i'm flying   feels like i'm dying   

take a deep breath attempt to astound

fifty nine out of three hundred and ninety

i am

         circumspect

not so corners pursuers step on the forallthings

distinction

at cars and ducks and clouds

police

i look

                                   

so fine

harlequin lead paint

away from away

anemone

an emone

an enemy

sincerely

<><><> <><><>

stunning naked angels on golden pipes                 

                                    italicized five

neurons shouted a colony of hummingbirds too black

                                                                                 

 irrational three one four

one five

* photo by Michael Argento

name 2011

hospitals airports knee jerk  an orgy of accents and new words  the spastic muscle grab of an injured calf  half and half  the overact  cigarette stains on a broken tooth proof de proof  all consumed ponytails and baby curls  he ran from every girl      a full seventy nine percent of everything is a bullshit lie   white hair brown eyes  polaroid land right on time    you won't take the test  pound forgets   you are a type a demographic swipe at laurelei  northern lights summer skies apple bites  
                        pretty girls that don't                  but might

cigarettes and catholic guilt

i know what looks mean  at least i think i know   what they mean  smiles winks nods are dead giveaways but looks take a little work you can see the hurt but you can't be afraid to stare  get right in there and see the whites- the bloodshot flight of fixy fancy understanding that gets told in eyes   break through disguise wastes almost enough time for everyone you have met in two whole years to walk past the woldman theater

                                                                                                              almost

radar is already plural 

          georgian is not russian ukranian is not

          russian lithuanian is    not            russian

pygmalion is not russian

the lullaby of linwood avenue

you made a big mistake twice in a row just a couple of nights maybe who would know it all started back in the summertime  inevitable  you can make them shine

 that  in and _of itself  does not make you

                                                   bad

and yes we all make mistakes have your heart decide what it's gonna take i cannot believe that it's been so tame just can't decide why things have to change

but          they do have to change

                                                               i always do this

after the change it will all dissolve  may not make sense to those involved may not mean a thing but you might  have   to say what you   really   think when night turns into day

the sun arrives you understand how the things you did got out of hand it was understood you were overwhelmed made mistakes again now you blame yourself

                                                                always to this

                                             i always will

                                                               i can't leave it here

                                    or take it with me

                                                                        still

*"discourse" 2004 by rachael hetzel  

the best part of it all (parts one and two)

part one

if you really wanted to you'd make the time i know that now

if you really had a  sense of the sublime then you'd have doubts and of course the phone will ring let it ring let it ring out

i never had enough time to make it out i never had enough sense to do without

if you really wanted to you'd find the time you would find the time if you really had to do it close your eyes and get into it you'd lose your mind

i don't have to shout                            i can just walk out

if i make it to the point   i won't    send for you   if i make it past the point   well   i don't know what i'll do but if i had another chance i'd say let's    not   work it out yeah if i had another chance i'd say i'm headed south

the best thing of them all is that i won't have to doubt   the best part of it all   is 
                                                           that i can just shut my mouth

part two

i haven't been anywhere  take the time to prepare for this do you know what it is i listen to hear you sing but the words can mean anything than i want them to mean

that i need them to mean

oh but i love 
how 
threatening

i don't know what to say so i don't say anything that's close

at all

to what i really mean it's best not to push or seek you can just turn around and leave you leave heart under sleeve you leave i leave still don't know what it means

oh but i love your hands 
                             how they were threatening to

                     just

                           touch

                     me

underneath my my sleeve  fr- from across the room in the middle of the tune

if you weren't listening the words do mean anything that you want them to mean that you need them to mean

Tangential Radio

Live recording from the Tangential Reading last week:

Check it out here

the etiquette of pure disownment

eyes flicker with sleep                                                   

                                                                          a little confusion helps it keep

a little destruction  makes its way

promises promises

     so you say

leaving things

in my way

i know you will not speak

or say

that to last

you must betray

that when you pass

                 you give away      

age turns me indifferent

every self

was sacred

apathy and ambivalence

start to feel like

hatred

                           had the broken wing       burned my favorite things

told the truth      watched it sting

         don’t have to stop for time to think

i believe mr. olson is on the phone

bibles

breath took

beckett text

second look         third look

sonnet shook

he

held

this

in

his

hands

 gave it to her         man

how much

                                                  is

it

w o r   t  h

                  then

well  where do you put the

                                                     dollar sign in               price le$$

one

one only

one

lonely

the loneliest

no price

no take

which ones

are

fake

what do you want to be

rich

what do you want to be

right

what do you want to be

hap  

py

what do you want to be

                                                                        drunk

what do you want to be

                                                                                koh

what do you i want to be

                                    mo’

mo’ better

with each letter

each phrase   every day

henry’s finger disappeared          his hand  his leg  then his ear

i left him face up on the floor back there   in the darkness the hardest  it’s the weakness in the weakest  it stares out the window           beneath us shouldn’t treat     like we’re worth trust    time alone is the worst          such

rust

dust

             and

lust

i begin to suspect that the sneezes are lies

just a little part of an elaborate disguise praised to proof   void of truth unknown to all but here now ruined counting on the wrong conclusion hidden   halted                 heretic  hues   just hoping hoping  it’d be some use   no longer merely   subterfuge  black the mountain with all the clues  creeley climb  make your  move after all this is the thing to  do

in the midst of bibles    big money 

     wonderous craft

                      forgot by all those    walking                fast

the last crane on miller beach

dark red

pale white

there is no telling where she’ll end up tonight

she can fly

but not far

have you seen the hole

in her arm?

 you felt it

                                     you complained

that when we left

everything changed

                        stripes like the days go by

                        speak up now honey

                                    don’t be   shy

                        what is coming from your mouth

ain’t the only thing that makes the doubt

all day   you felt lost

but you’ve no idea

how

much

it will cost

all the calls     all the words

when the bill comes due

that’s when everything hurts

you felt

it

so  i explained

that when we left

everything           stayed the same

now the stripe is the day gone by

come on now    haley

you’re so  shy

all the things you       wouldn’t say

will come back

at   night

and

have their way

the last crane

on miller beach

she’s right there                                                            within reach

just in time       and                                                                                      just in tune

perfect

for a monday       afternoon

i'm lying when i say

in the fleeting moment i remembered    firstly

to the car      nervously tearing   

                                   

                        secondly to the handing

to you

                       proud

you noticed                         the cover

thank   you

                        mark

i hope you hear    the songs

i hope you hear        me say

that i wish i       that

if you are  i

                 i will

       the

                         promise

    give you confidence

                        make you see sleep

with

             no pretending                        no long endings             no drawing out      and no doubt

take me dancing take me dancing take me dancing

most very sincerely truly yours

        intellect comma proofof

i will

look at you                                                                                                           self-righteous

this has nothing to do

with god

you just think that you know something

that the rest of them do not

 and for all your education

they could never teach you this

do not speak of precision

you don’t know what it is

we tell big lies

well into the night

we take out the 45’s                                                          we let ‘em spin and come alive

then the talk turns to what has changed our minds

and to people who are kind

but will be left behind

and they still think that it’s fine

you thought we came here

stolen

but what does that even mean

i’ll still see you on friday                                                  and then sometime

in the spring

if time tells you the answer and it doesn’t take that long

then you may find your decisions

are taller                                                                                than you want

your decisions

are taller

then the talk turns

to what must be overcome

but there is just nowhere to run                             there is nothing

to be done

still                                                                                                               i wonder

what i                              will have to do

to make it up to you                                         and still feel like it’s through

the big lies?

they’re just fading out of sight

go put back your 45’s

set and say goodbye

still hope

that everything’s fine

i will