you don't believe that do you?

by that time

     it was too late

i mean

                    we     could have

and

maybe

we     should have

but             the

time

      has     passed

                             and what’s

left

is                         lost

lost                      now

both with something

to      lose

      lips            hips

                           loose

                                    new

breathing             blue

the night

is the only truth

you don’t believe that

                                   do you?

how long can you go between rewards?

it was the weight 
                          of the book

the weight 
              of the world 
in those words

stylish leather

           impenetrable

and forever

blank pages

with short lines

short thoughts

of a bad time

three months until it’s right

every thing that you learn

in theory

you can see the proof

socially

the ones who need

and the ones who might be

measuring

if you take

one hour blocks

and note the behavior

with a plus or a minus

intervene after identification

plan for the future

involve them

that is the hard line

in motivation

how long can you go

                         between rewards

reinforcing the contingency plan

rehearse the behavior

and bring it to the group

tell them all the news

bill couldn’t put it down

no matter how hard he tried

you see that look

the milk whites of his eyes

no longer very bright

and his shots

well

they were lined up

on bars

and no longer launched as

observational tales

of boys and girls

who never came close

to becoming men and women

that just wasn’t in them

the taste of fake sugar

after you just tasted

real sugar

leaves you wondering

which chemical genius

fucked this whole thing up

errors of thought

cognitive distortions

absolutely

not the same river not the same me

change the lock

so

the loving unknown

what will you find 

when you finally get home

a pile for a pyre

evidence for liars

purity burns 

so soon in the fire

designed to return

the ash to he earth

by the wonders of women

willing to work

at coffee counters

in office buildings

wire tapping the 

bets in from the caymanns 

from the comfort of home

which is another kind of unknown

hymn 101 is still a call to arms

and not wearing a mask

protects the public from harm

not wearing a heart

on anything but sleeves

not afraid to see 

or be seen

in the traditional navy blue

and green

of the last pregnant pause

the withholding clause

that last bit of wind

blown and then

lost

collecting on debts

fifteen years gone

remembering life 

as it once was

but never will be

not the same river

                           not the same me 

you can reach into the past

and find your hand

sheared to the bone

clement in the rain

                                  (who is clement?)

today is the twenty-first of july

and it’s the first day

i have ever wondered

both when and why

at the same time

the wounded are the first to heal

but only because they were the first ones 

                                                        hurt

you can see their little truths

in shuffling feet and

pick- me smiles

half-hearted   underwhelming

too many times overlooked

            too many times

the difference between life and death

        or east and west

almost certainly 

                starts in your head

before it moves to the legs

at about the speed that you’d expect

i spent the last three days

trying to draw the perfect flower

when i started

it was a daisy

now

it’s an iris

i’d feel much better

 if you were smiling

and not just with your mouth

i want to see it in your eyes

beyond affluence

and

                                  influence